Pluto says ...

I dunno what's with these so called humans ... they like to pigeonhole everything! I've been orbiting the Sun longer than these miniscule microbes had been on 'that' rock. I've been observing their evolution while doing my routine orbit. Although I admire their tenacity and perseverance in trying to discover the origin of everything (including themselves), sometimes it just aint right what they do, like hitting my dear friend Tempel1 with tons of dynamites. Man, that hurts! And what do they care? All in the name of science they say. Tempel1 came limping back and bitching about having her rear blown up and photographs taken of her without consent! And they seem to have a fattish on size! Sure, I'm tiny as compared to almighty master Jupiter, and I'm not gonna grow any bigger, but hey, I'm every part of 'their' solar system, definitely a veteran, and a loyal one too. So what if my orbit is a bit eccentric? I like to take a slightly different angle on my routes sometimes and get closer to Neptune for a bit of gossip. I've contributed to the system as much as any other 'planet' who's been my neighbors wayyyyyyyy before these egocentric microbes even show signs of life. I think I deserve every bit to be classified as a full blown planet and now demoting me and calling me a dwarf for no apparent reason is just down right humiliating. My sidekick and dear pal Charon and all my Kuiper Belt friends say so too. What did I do to deserve that?

* Pluto - the 9TH PLANET !

PS - I dont think I'd welcome New Horizons when it comes to study me. I think I will go slightly off orbit to avoid it!