Quim

There are times when the nostalgic past creeps up on you whether you'd like to reminded of it or not. Flipping absently through one of my thousands old photo albums in a hopeless attempt to sort them out, I came upon his pictures. It's been long years and I admit I dont even from time to time bring back those times. As our after supper routine in those few hot summer evenings in Algarve, we were in the Praia de Armação de Pêra, sitting at a small square weather beaten wooden table by the beach. Naice got up and went somewhere. J, toying with the cup of his half drunk bica, revealed to me his plan. "But it's a dangerous profession" I commented. "Not here" he said. I supposed someone with no higher education nor future prospect, applying for the academy would be an option to consider. A small quiet town like Lagoa with only so many inhabitants, a place where everyone knew everyone, being a policeman would only mean walking around and chatting with the neighbours all day. "And after the academy, I'd like to get married and start a family" J confessed more. I knew he liked a local girl but every time they went out, they would inadvertently run into people they knew, and the girl would end up hanging around with another guy. "Assim não dá!" J would say. He understood he's from a poor family and living in a small town everyone knew just how well off your family was. Must be a terrible burden to him. Social status mattered there. Looking at me in the eye, J said "If you live here I would spend my life with you". "Me?" I said rather shockingly. He must have taken it the wrong way because he said no more, and turned his head to face the immense of the ocean with hard sad eyes. I didnt mean it that way. In fact I rather liked J. He's very romantic. He's modest but confident and above all he's simple with no hidden agenda. In contrast Naice could be arrogant and condescending. They're friends and grew up not more than 50 meters from each other, but the town square that separated their abodes was the invisible divider that forever kept them at opposite ends of the social strata. Naice's parents owned a 3 story house while J's was a row house with curtains dividing the rooms. I looked at J's image captured in the glossy paper, and I wondered what life would have been like had I stayed and had a life with him. I no longer believed in fate. Our decisions could seal us in a destiny we created ourselves. Did I regret my inaction on that breezy evening by the Atlantic ocean? Honestly I dont know but his image would always stay in one of my photo albums, and when I flip through it and find him again in a later day, I would recall his sincere undemanding revelation, and might perhaps even some day come to regret my inability to requite his sentiment. But this much I know till the end of times - his friendship was a jewel I held briefly in my hand.

"Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but the moments that take our breath away." - george carlin

Um facho de luz
Que a tudo seduz por aqui
Estrela brilhante reluz
Nesse instante sem fim
Um cheiro de amor
Espalhado no ar a me entorpecer

 

Quisera viesse do mar
E não de você

Um raio que inunda de brilho
Uma noite perdida
Um estado de coisas tão puras
Que move uma vida

Um verde profundo no olhar
A me endoidecer
Quisera estivesse no mar
E não em você

Porque seu coração é uma ilha
A centenas de milhas daqui

composição: Djavan Caetano Viana

Para ti
A rosa mais vermelha
A estrela mais brilhante
O trigo ondulante
E da aurora a primeira centelha
Para ti
A imensidade do ceu
O que tenho mais de meu
Para ti
O meu amor
Para ti
A prece mais sentida
Para ti
A minha vida

(fragments only) by J Jacinto