resilience 2

Today I gave my notice! D had a 5 minutes panic attack. AV came and told me 'dont leave! can I go with you?'. Poor AV, I feel so sorry for her, caught in the middle of all that shit! How can she work for someone like R? M didnt have much of any reaction but I guess he'd always guessed I'd be gone as soon as I have something better. I am not sorry at all to leave these people. So Stanford was short for me but I've always known it's just not for me. Now suddenly it's a like a big burden had been lifted off my shoulders and the sun shines brighter and I even feel more like myself and started to enjoy life a little better and back at doing my own projects which I enjoy immensely. Strange how a little job can affect your whole outlook in life. I realized I'm one of those people who cant really separate job from life totally. If I'm not happy with my job, all the rest of my life is affected and I simply cant function. I had so many bad jobs before and each had put a stop to my life until I got something better and then life resumed. I hope now that I'd be satisfied and reasonably happy with this new one and go on with life. There's so much I've put on hold until my job situation is settle. And now, I need to pick up where I left off and continue. I cant wait to start working at my new place and do the things I'd planned to do. I'm tired of being unhappy and lost. I hope I'd be happy this time!

Cantor Arts Center

Today I wandered through the Stanford Cantor Arts Center Museum and was awestuck! I never knew there was a museum on campus. Both A and R had told me about it and had been there, and yesterday I had a very expensive soup+salad ($12!!!!) at the Cool cafe just outside the building with M. We browsed the souvenier shop and then just paid the museum a brief visit. I saw the Roman and Egyptian galleries and wanted to go back to explore them more leisurerly. So today I went back by myself.

The building is fantastically beautiful with murals all around depicting different eras and the galleries inside were cool and the displays expertly positioned. I went through every room but lingered longer in the sections closer to my heart.

The Ancient Mediterranean collection contained Egyptian artworks dating from the Pre-Dynastic period to the New Kingdom and even a mummy. Then there were the Mycenaean, Corinthian, seals, cuneiform, and figurative tablets from Mesopotamia and Roman sculptures. My heart leaped with delight.

Then I came upon the gallery of paintings. Among which, the Cathedral of st xxxx caught my eye. Haunting place. And many others that unfortunately I didnt bring pen and paper to write down the names of the artists. I regretted that and I need to go back for another round.

Then accidently I came out by the back door and had to walk around the front to get myself oriented and thus I discovered the Rodin garden. So that was where L was talking about. I dont much care for modern sculptures and dont really like Rodin but today I finally saw where the outdoor museum was.


Wow, it had been a great feast to my eyes. Gotta go back!

http://museum.stanford.edu/index.html

resilience

Today A resigned!!! I'm feeling vulnerable and left behind because I relied on him to make me get through the day each day. Somehow with him leaving, it forces me to look at my own situation which is getting more desperate by the day. I so envy him going to Adobe and making real money and no longer has to deal with the unprofessionalism at work. It was a mistake to take this job. I did it to myself! But the sad part of it all is, I knew what I was getting into. Why did I do it? In retrospect, it was self sabbatage all over again. Sigh. Looking back at the postings here, I did say about resilience. Well, I only wish I can get something very soon. I've moved into his cube and already life at work feels a little better. At least I'm more comfortable having my own little space and privacy. Feels a bit more like a real work place! J continues to be out because of carpal tunel and I miss his wits. So it's just M and me again, like the beginning.