apprehension

feeling uneasy or is it fear of change? after over 6 years, I'm finally moving out. who would have known I would stay this long? After battling with job situation, finally earning my living again and be able to stand on my own 2 feet and now finding a place to live, suddenly I'm scared to move. I've grown too comfortable here even with the daily shouts, impatience, bad smells, hassle of having to take care of everything, driving them around, I thought I was tired of this place, or was it just that I've grown accustomed to it? I guess I'm too old to be playing this game. The place is nice, a bit far from the rest of the world, but roomy and I can have my own dishes, my books and shoes, the type of food I like, and finally free to do as I please. Dunno what tomorrow will bring but I need to summon my old adventurous spirit back and confront the world on my own again. I used to like it so why not like it again? I no longer know what I want, or what I like ... I'm simply tired of life!

I just want November to be here quickly so I can be in Hawaii even though it would just a rush little break.