we choose

"I don’t think I was born gay. I don’t think I was born straight. I was born the way all of us are born: as a human being with a seemingly infinite capacity to announce myself, to re-announce myself, to try on new identities like spring raincoats, to play with limiting categories, to challenge them and topple them, to cultivate my tastes and preferences, and, most importantly, to love and to receive love."

-Brandon Ambrosino, freelance journalist - June 2016

Well said. Finally the Homo sapiens sapiens had caught up with so many others across the animal kingdom. the intersex kangaroo. a fish with four separate 'genders'. the clownfish that can change sex. Perhaps only now we recognize our astonishingly diverse sexual behaviours. Far too long had we compartmentalized our sexual orientation into a binary system. Any deviation was considered a disease. find that 'gay gene'. Then find a cure. sounds like the XMen. Time for the sapiens to realize that we were born whatever and both gene and environment make who and how we are, but we still ultimately have a choice, and it's up to us to find/discover/explore/experiment/cultivate our own identities, preferences, and to suffer, to cry, to love, to overcome our lives challenges and hardships, and finally to choose who we want to be in life.

name your price

Kili: Tauriel...
Tauriel: Lie still.
Kili: You cannot be her. She is far away. She... she is far, far away from me. She walks in starlight in another world. It was just a dream.

Tauriel: [Thranduil arrives at the top of Ravenhill to find Tauriel crying over Kili's body] They want to bury him.
Thranduil: Yes.
Tauriel: Why does it hurt so much?
Thranduil: [sadly] Because it was real.

holding on so tight

Holding back the years
Thinking of the fear I've had so long
When somebody hears
Listen to the fear that's gone
Strangled by the wishes of pater
Hoping for the arms of mater
Get to me the sooner or later

Holding back the years
Chance for me to escape from all I've known
Holding back the tears
Cause nothing here has grown
I've wasted all my tears
Wasted all those years
And nothing had the chance to be good
Nothing ever could yeah

I'll keep holding on
I'll keep holding on
I'll keep holding on
I'll keep holding on
So tight

-Mick Hucknall

memory

Und immer eine schoene Erinnerung, du und diese Gesellschaft werden. Bis bald.

"You do not know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory" – Dr. Seuss.

"The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared." – Lois Lowry / The Giver

"we shall meet in the place where there is no darkness" - 1984 orwell

atque in perpetuum ave atque vale

Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit.

there is a painful difference between the expectation of an unpleasant event and its final certainty - sense and sensibility, jane austen

last offsite

So the much anticipated week came and went. Months of anticipation, dreading the week, anxious. All the scenarios played in my head and I thought I've covered them all. But with my track record, what transpired was something I could not have fathomed. Although this was the most fun offsite (the cardboard boat launchings were most hilarious and our boat immediately sank, the bike ride along the shoreline liberating and moffett field nostalgic, oh the wind tunnel), the ache, the empty feeling hovered. The disappointment was so great and instantaneous that was like Bucharest all over again. I remember the torment oh so well. kitty fane in the painted veil. So, farewell offsites. My one chance and it's been destroyed. Just cruel.



Que sua ausência faz a noite se alongar
Na espera inútil e você não apareceu

ensemble, la France

Glad Le Pen didnt win. Our world doesnt need another fascist, anti-semite, Putin's admirer in power, as we already have one in the most powerful country in the world. It shows the French are smarter than the Americans. utterly ashamed!